Re-Falling in Love With Jesus

When I got home from Guatemala in March, I knew that God would be using the following months to prepare me to go back. I prayed and told Him, "do what You want. Shape me, form me, and correct me". What I didn't realize is how painful being re-shaped is! I can honestly say that these past four months have been some of the hardest months in my spiritual life. I have had my pride squashed, my fears, doubts, and questions brought to the surface, and my faith tried over and over and over again. It hurt, a lot!

At some points, I would look at the pictures hanging on my wall from Guatemala and ask myself, did that actually even happen? I didn't recognize the girl I saw looking back at me, holding onto a Guatemalan child, her smile so full of joy.

"My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent His rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son He delights in." Proverbs 3:11-12

I went through three major periods of being so overwhelmed and feeling so lost, but God is a God who pursues and refuses to give up His child. Recently I heard a quote by Christa Hesselink, "What if God wasn't changing me so that I could love Him more, but He was changing me so that I could experience His love more perfectly?" I've been realizing that this is exactly what He has been up to, and these past few days, Jesus has been showing me who He is.

I have been overwhelmed by the love of the Creator of the universe. The same God who creates ocean tides, designs the most intricate flower petals, makes photosynthesis a thing, and forms the greatest mountains, humbles Himself to death on a cross simply because of His deep love for me. I am left shaking my head and asking myself, how can it be?

Even through my doubt, Jesus says, "I have chosen you and I love you, and I want you to to go to Guatemala so that you can show them who I am".

I am re-falling in love with Jesus.

#Jesus #love #Godslove #Guatemala #doubt