Weird Things Happen

The weirdest thing has happened to me, but first I have to give you some of the background story so you can fully how bizarre this whole situation really is:

It's not that I just wasn't a 'kids' person - I had absolutely no patience for them. In fact, I would say that I strongly disliked children. I found it excruciatingly exhausting to be around them, and I couldn't stand the thought of them picking their nose and then trying to hold my hand. To be honest, they grossed me out and I couldn't stand them trying to touch me and hug me.

So if you need any proof that God is real and can change the hardest of hearts, let me be your evidence. When Jesus told me He was going to use me as His missionary, I laughed. My literal words were, "You had better do something because I am NOT missionary material. Don't you have to like kids to be a missionary? Ha, good luck!"

But something very strange has happened, and it's hard to wrap my mind around it. God literally gave me a heart transplant. When I was here in March, I met this little boy named Aisayele. Never had I ever liked a child before, let alone love. But I'm telling you, I had never felt such an intense and deep love for anybody before. It was like God showed me this whole different side of my heart that I had never experienced before. I remember saying good-bye to my boy, tears streaming down my face, and my heart feeling like it had been ripped out of my chest and broken into a million pieces. I loved that precious seven-year-old boy, and I prayed that one day I might be able to love another person like that again, because there's nothing like it.

Fast forward 8 months later, and I'm back in Guatemala, where the transplant took place. I was a little bit nervous, because what if I didn't love kids anymore? What if it was a one-time thing?

Nope. Little did I know, when God gives you a heart transplant, it's a permanent thing. My mama, Elena, hosts a Bible study every Friday in our home. The adults go upstairs, and the children stay downstairs. There are four boys who come from the neighbourhood: Melvin, Mario, Angel, and Johnny. My heart literally feels like it's going to explode with joy and love every Friday. There's nothing I love more than my kids. I love hugging them and kissing their sweet faces. I love their silliness and their eagerness to sing and dance for the Lord. I love their beautiful smiles and brown eyes. I love them even when they pick their noses and then hold my hand (this most definitely happened tonight).

There was one Friday when Johnny had a little bag of chips when he came to Bible study. Here in Guatemala, food is a love language. Johnny opened his treat, plunged his very, very dirty hand in the bag, looked up at me with his sweet smile, and offered me a handful of his chips. I looked at his little hand, at his very grungy fingers, and ate those chips. And then I hugged him tight and said a little prayer for my immune system. Jesus, thank-you for the hearts of children.

He has given me the deepest pleasure and joy, and my heart physically warms when they wrap their arms around me. And tonight, as I said good-bye to them and was sad that I wouldn't see them till next Friday, I realized that this is no longer just a thing that occurs on Friday, because school starts on Monday. I get to love on them every single day, and I can scarcely wrap my mind around it.

I also realized that if this is how much a human can love another little human, imagine the kind of love God has for His children - for you. If a sinful, broken person like me can feel something that deep for children, just think about God, a perfect and holy Father. The Lord delights in His kids, and think of the joy God feels when we offer Him our dirty, handful of chips. If my heart can swell with love, imagine His. How He must long for us to let Him hold us, speak love into our hearts, and give us good gifts. And I am thankful for the gift of my children.

If a couple years ago someone would have told I would be the teacher of 135 students under the age of 10, I would have told them that they're crazy. But I have a Good Father whose plan is perfect, and weird things happen to you when you give your life up and and receive His instead.

"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!" Matthew 7:9-11