Going Back

Friends, I want to ask you to please pray for me, because my heart has been hurting pretty bad lately and I'd love some help. As you might know, God has asked me to go to Toronto and study at Tyndale University. I know that the Lord has great things to teach me, relationships for me to build, and that He has things there that will prepare me for here. I know that His plan is greater than anything I could ever think up myself, and that I don't have the ability to see the Grand Plan. He'll be equipping me for all of those kids a few years down the road who need to be cared for and need to hear about Jesus and His healing hand. I know all of these things, that He is good, and that He's already preparing a way for me (I officially have an apartment in Toronto that I'll be sharing with my sister for an amazing price - that's a miracle in itself). 

But oh, how I love these kids. Everything in me cherishes them, takes joy in them, and every day I see these precious little people who are so wonderfully made.  I have been so blessed to spend almost a year of my life with them now. Coming to know them and their stories, what makes them laugh uncontrollably, worshiping with them every morning, laying my hands on them to bless them and pray for them, asking for protection over their precious lives and for healing of any past hurt - what an incredible gift that I've been given by our Father. I thank Him every single day for them and for this school that tells them that they are loved, and special, and that the Lord has a plan and purpose for each of their lives. He has them in the centre of His palm, and when I look at them and hug them and kiss their faces I know that the Lord is good. I see Jesus in them every single day. I could seriously talk about my kids for hours on end! 

I love them deeply, and that makes it very, very difficult to know I say good-bye in twelve short weeks (David, pictured below and above, makes it all the harder). 

Honestly, it makes my heart ache and it's been really hard the past few weeks to not dwell on it - returning to Canadian culture, trying to figure out how function in it after living and loving it here for so long, and not knowing when I'll be back and be able to see these kids again.  I really, really wish I could say that I'm excited to come back, but mostly I just tear up when I think about it. So this is my prayer request! 

Please pray that I would live and take in every day here, and not live in the future. Please pray that sadness would be replaced daily with joy, and that (this one is a biggie) I would even find excitement in returning. Please pray for a peace and joy that only the Lord gives. 

I'm so thankful for all of you who've prayed for me and continue to pray. Thank-you.  "May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen." Hebrews 13:20.